a real Christmas

Admittedly, religiosity is a state of mind. Faith, however, is not. As one new to it, I am learning that while there cannot be faith without doubt, belief can also be a matter of certainty; it is becoming evident to me that faith grows, not linearly towards bedrock fact, but with ever more frequent moments of certainty which more than balance, more than offset, doubt. I experienced one such moment certainty yesterday. I saw the face of God in my children, mother, aunts, nephew, cousins. And I felt the love of the Christ of the Trinity in their presence. My children, and my nephew, are living examples of Rahner's "anonymous christians". But my mother, cousins, aunts, who have lived lives blessed with faith throughout, visibly and audibly (to me) manifest the grace of God in their essential being. I've always known they were good people, and I always strived (and failed) to be like them. I know why now : I have not lived as they have, though I could have and chose not to, having consciously decided to walk away from God in anger. While I revel in my newfound piety, I have much catching up to do, even as I realize to do so is impossible because I cannot relive my life. One of the damaging consequences of my choices is that my kids were not raised with religious consciousness; but while I've missed much of the joy which a life of faith brings to those who believe in Christ, maybe it's not too late for them. Frank the evangelist ? It's probably the best legacy I can provide for them, the best way to ensure a chance for the sort of blessed lives I witnessed yesterday. What did I see ? I saw true faith lived. Not just believed, internalized, but lived.