An apology to feminists.

   It is my personal belief that if life has any purpose at all, it is in the capacity of humans to rise above their animal instincts and create a harmonious society of individuals whose interests are frequently at odds with one another. This requires the elevation of tribal interests above those of the individual, by the individuals themselves. Of course, when I refer to 'tribe', I refer to all of humanity, and the harmonious society is civilization. The act of civilizing humanity is synonymous with rising above our animal instincts, on an individual basis, and as a society. A society is only as civilized as its meanest members, so it is presumptive for us to collectively refer to ourselves as a civilized nation. Societies may contain individuals who serve as good examples of civilized behavior, but world history has yet to witness a completely civilized nation. The civilization of humanity is an ongoing process, with no end in sight. It requires the free and liberal education of every member of every society to help them rise to this level of self-awareness, self-control, self-government.
   This elevation of tribal interests above the individual's interests may seem counterintuitive; yet it is almost always, in the long run, beneficial to the individual to act in such a manner. That is why I label this attitude 'enlightened self-interest'. Maintaining this attitude is almost impossible without an ever-abiding sense of forgiveness. We have to allow room for the freedom of our neighbors to express their individuality, and they, ours. Forgiveness is the cornerstone of civilization.
   Now that I have called your attention to the necessity of forgiveness, I must confess a certain inability on my behalf  to completely rise above my own animal instincts regarding women. Before you jump to any preconceived conclusion, please consider my upbringing. I come from a good Irish Catholic family, two parents of unassailable virtue who raised six children- an oldest daughter followed by five boys. I also had a fabulous extended family with many cousins and wonderful aunts, uncles, grandparents and other relatives. It would be hard to improve on the family life that I knew as a child. Of course, there were fights and other incidents that kept us firmly grounded in the real world, but my family situation bordered on the ideal. I had three boy cousins that were my age and I had someone to play with whenever our families got together. The women in our family had to be strong minded and independent just to keep up with the activities of the boys. My mom, my sister, my aunts and my cousins were (and still are) all impressive, self-sufficient individuals- none of them required a man to provide them with an identity. And that is at the root of my problem with women.
   I grew up expecting all of them to be that way. As a matter of fact, I almost certainly had too high an opinion of women in general. In my earlier years, they were unadulterated vessels of purity- a Catholic notion grounded in fantasy. My blundering attempts at seduction revolved around the idea that marriage was the only worthy goal of a relationship. Needless to say, this approach resulted in a succession of repeated failures. I was a very physical boy trying to force my behavior into someone else's very metaphysical concept of sexuality. Not a good approach. Only after I finally did get married did I realize that I had nearly abandoned the great physical pleasures of sex in favor of some high-minded ideal of love.
   My first wife, Renee, was a beautiful and exceptionally kind hearted person whose personality led me to try and shoehorn myself into my preconceived notions of what a relationship should be. I always loved her and still do. She was entirely blameless for the failure of the marriage. It was more the fact that I started college soon after we got married and there followed a cascade of sexual opportunities that were irresistible to me. I never did cheat on her but I came pretty close. I asked to be released from the bonds of matrimony and she allowed it to happen. What followed was a comedy of errors.
   I could no longer pretend to be interested in just one woman at a time. That didn't stop me from falling in love, but there was this strange development where love for an individual woman just meant an increase in my love for all women. The more I wanted one, the more I wanted them all. It was almost a dilemma for me, but I managed to avoid it by honestly confessing to the objects of my desire that I only wanted sex from them and nothing more. To my never-ending surprise, this worked like a charm. Suddenly, it was easy to get women to have sex with me.
   Before I go any farther, let me make clear that I don't foster any grandiose notions about my sexual prowess. I always considered myself average in that regard and still do. I am a fun person to be around and consider that to be the source of any attractiveness that I possess. What intrigued me was the different rationales that those women would employ to allow themselves to sleep with me. Some were convinced that once they gave me what they had to offer that I would certainly never want anyone else. Others were convinced that I was lying when I said that I only wanted sex. Quite a few did it out of their competitive nature. If I asked and they said no, I would simply turn to the next pretty girl and hit on her. This would disturb the first girl who would then come after me. It was a great and wonderful time in my life that I would recommend to all young people- sleep with as many partners as you can in order to find out what you really want in a spouse.
   But I should add that I really only did it as an experiment. I came to realize that my original ideas about women were almost completely unfounded. Women are very sexual creatures, every bit as determined as men to get what they want, and every bit as liable to be mean, vicious and untrustworthy. I always wanted to be in a dependable relationship with a woman; I just had to go out and test the waters more than my Catholic upbringing would have recommended. I now have been with my beloved Janice for almost twenty years and things are as good as, if not better, than they were at the beginning. And this leaves me at the point where I must apologize for my instincts.
   I cannot look at an attractive woman and not feel a sexual impulse. I will always find something physical to appreciate about her- her face, her hair, her eyes, her lips, her skin, her hips, her legs, and yes, her tits and ass. My first impulse is always to consider looking her in the eyes and caressing her into submission, or bending her over a railing and nailing her from behind. My experience tells me that she's going to want something or other along those lines. But my better self constrains those impulses and I try to treat her like just another one of the guys.
   So, to all those women who feel oppressed by the evolution of society, I apologize. You are every bit my equal. You deserve equal pay for equal work and you are certainly capable of anything that you set your mind to. Your perspective on life is different than mine and equally valid. I truly do respect your worth as a person; I admire your talents and hard work, but I will never stop wanting contact with your physical attributes.